Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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