WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
it's like heaven, but drunker
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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