all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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