Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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