I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
