she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
