you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
