I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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