This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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