Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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