So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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