WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode