Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌