i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend