I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize