how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
