oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
