dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
