Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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