Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she peed on how many people?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
