I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
