you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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