Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
