he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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