im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
