she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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