Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
