I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
