by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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