And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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