Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so that wasnt chicken after all
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
