if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i think i have two assholes
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
