I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
