the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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