I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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