Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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