i think i have herpe
just one?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
