i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
