i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
