Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
