Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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