Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
