I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize