i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
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What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
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you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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