hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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