Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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