I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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