I just pynch a tree in the face
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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