last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
