Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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