i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
handjob tips. give me some.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
