Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
