I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
...so i touched it.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize