you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
