I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
