I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
