two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
