Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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