I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He shit in the fireplace
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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