Do you still have your period?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
