They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
